Friday, March 14, 2014

The Bright Side of Suffering

*This is the second part of a 2 part blog on suffering. You can find the first one here

You may be wondering how in the world there could be any bright side to suffering.  Even as I type these words- I cringe a little even putting the word bright and suffering in the same sentence. However, as any person who has gone through a life changing difficulty knows, if you aren’t able to make the situation any better, at some point you have to move forward, and this means looking for the joys in the darkest of moments even if you don’t want to.

I write these next few things knowing that not every person has felt this way or will experience these changes. In every situation, we have a choice. When we fight through the tears and shock of unexpected pains, we ultimately have to decide how we are going to handle what life throws at us. These are a few of the most beautiful aspects of suffering:

1. You can become a fruit bearer in your pain

After tragedy strikes do you find yourself researching your situation? Maybe you’re struggling to start your family so you find yourself investigating any and everything about infertility. Maybe your child unexpectedly passed away and now you find yourself furiously reading and building up your knowledge base about the why’s and how’s of this tragedy.

For many of us, our deepest pains become our greatest passions.  I truly believe that if you are willing to step out of the comfort zone of your pain- God can use you to impact the lives of others around you and ultimately- move mountains through your pain. I know, I know- it’s scary, isn’t it? It is terrifying to be vulnerable in your greatest wounds! But believe me when I tell you that if you allow God to use your pain for his glory- stepping out in faith, despite the vulnerability of your pain, he WILL use you.

Think about that for a moment. Your wound hurts and the suffering is there no matter what. Either you choose to let it sit and be just that- suffering, or you choose to USE it for his glory.  The wound is there either way- but God allows us the option to become a fruit bearer from the pain in order to expand and further his kingdom.

 “ Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Did you notice the “comfort” trend? Paul reeaaallly wanted us to understand the importance of this word here! I noted 2 things in this passage. One being the obvious repetitive emphasis on comfort and second, the linear order for comfort. We see first the origin of comfort, then how he comforts us in our pain, so that in turn we can comfort others with the same comfort we have received!

2. You will never be the same again

This was also on the dark side of suffering post. For many of you who have gone through or are currently going through a dark valley of life, you may think of how things were prior to the pain. It’s easy to wish that you could go back in time to when you naively & blissfully went about your day thinking all was well - until your world came crashing down. 

However, I can honestly say that I am forever changed- for the better.  My eyes have been opened to the immense brokenness of this world.  Its almost as if I have been given a new set of glasses called perspective that I had never seen out of prior to our pain.  Or maybe- for the first time in my life, my eyes were opening see the true reality of living in a fallen world.  Like a newborn baby opening its eyes for the first time, I could only open them ever so slightly, squinting at the sting of this bright world.

When you are being forced to see life through a new lens, you can’t help but notice all the turmoil around us. In turn, this new perspective gives you an incredible gratitude for things many take for granted. The little joys of the day become some of your greatest moments of thankfulness. Your heart becomes soft and tender to those around you experiencing difficult times. Ultimately- you are being refined by the fire.

“ I have refined you but not in the way silver is refined. Rather, I have refined you in the furnace of suffering” –Isaiah 48:10

Refine: to remove by purifying. To reduce to a pure state.

Do you know what it truly means to be refined by the fire? A refiner knows just how long to leave its chosen metal in the furnace in order for the impurities to rise to the top to be skimmed off, ultimately leaving behind a beautiful liquid metal reflection. God, our refiner, knows just how long we need to be in the fiery furnace of suffering, in order for our impurities to rise up and out of us, revealing a stunning reflection of HIS image and likeness.

I am not saying that you are suffering because you are impure and he wants to refine it out of you. For many of us- I believe the order of events is different. We are impure by human nature, living in a broken world experiencing suffering, and he refines us in the process to shine forth his image and likeness. He does not want to burn me in the fire of suffering but he will use my pain as a means to refine my soul into becoming more like him! What beautiful imagery!

If you are willing- you have the ability to grow leaps and bounds in your faith, your wisdom, and your perspective on the world around you.  I say “if you are willing” because not everybody will grow in that direction. Pain can make you do crazy things- and for some, instead of turning to growth, they choose to stay in the pit and let Satan steal their joy, faith, and strength. And trust me- if you let him, he will steal it.

My hope is that you choose to let him refine you in the fire of your suffering. The benefits far outweigh the momentary sting of this worlds pain.


3. Lukewarm is not an option

I have a confession. For the majority of my life- I was a lukewarm Christian. I had a mediocre faith fueled by complacent passion to know and trust Him. Up until 3 years ago, nothing detrimental had ever happened to me. I had never been challenged in my faith or had a reason to cry out to God for answers for my empty aching arms.

Then tragedy struck. More than once.

When you go through a life altering situation, you naturally take a very hard look at your faith. I believe this is a pivotal moment for many people. You make a conscious decision. You are either IN or you are OUT. There is no lukewarm faith when you come face to face with suffering.  Some of life’s deepest hurts have caused people to completely turn their backs on God while others choose to stop walking and start running toward Him. In my experience, I have done both. I initially turned my back on God with an immense amount of bitterness toward the pain caused to me. The consequences of this were detrimental to myself and my marriage. My pit of hurts became a sea of regrets that I allowed Satan to drown me in.  It is only when I made a conscious decision to start living through the pain in Christ, not allowing it to suffocate me, that life became a lot more meaningful- despite the continuing suffering of losing our babies.

Much like the church of Laodicea in the book of Revelation- God despised how lukewarm they were. He literally wanted to spit them out of his mouth because he would rather them be either hot or cold- but definitely not lukewarm.  He desires me to stop walking in faith and start running, sprinting, toward him. He is ready, with arms open wide, to embrace me.

You are in a pivotal moment in your life where you have a choice. Suffering already does the job of naturally taking us out of a lukewarm lifestyle- but it is our choice which direction we run. Which way are you going?


4. Deeper intimacy with God

One of the absolute most precious outcomes of having been knocked into the pit of suffering has been in my relationship with God.  Many people I have spoken with agree that there is a much deeper intimacy with Christ when you are in the darkest spots of your life. This oneness with Christ is unlike anything I have ever experienced. When life comes crashing down before you and nothing else on this earth feels worth living for, all you have is God and yet so ironically beautiful: God is ALL YOU NEED. Just you and him. In your most raw moments, God picks you up, holds on tight and rides this devastating wave with you. I have seen my God like I have never seen him before.
This intimacy doesn’t happen over night. It is a process of letting God into my bruised and wounded soul, allowing him to speak tenderly into my heart. As I dive deeper into him through prayer, scripture reading, and continually bringing him every ache and pain of my soul, he reveals more and more of his glorious self.  I am in awe of the goodness of the Lord. Job, the king of suffering himself, said it best …

My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you” Job 42:5

So, press on wounded soul, and press into Christ!

~ Kristin






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